24. Direct-Translated English
We were having our monthly finance team meeting with our CFO. He is a Malaysian Indian man.
This happened when I was still with my previous employment. In our finance team, we have three accounts assistants that are assigned on the same job scopes but in-charging of different countries’ book.
So, today, I can’t recall what the topic in discussion was, one of my subordinates just replied bluntly to my boss (i. e. CFO) “Boss, you say things ‘no head no tail’ and now vent your anger on me. ‘Don’t put me on table’.”
I just burst into laughter while my Indian boss showing a ‘What?’ expression on his face. He doesn’t understand those ‘directly-translated’ English sentences.
In Mandarin, ‘No head, No tail’ actually means that the message wasn’t clear or not complete; and ‘Put me on table’ simply means putting the blame onto someone.
Classic!! Haha… I still remember that scene until now. That ‘dare to speak up’ young lady is now already a mother of two and that knowledgeable yet humble boss of ours has now having his own business in home country. We have fun when we worked as a team back then.
I miss them.
25. Is This Way To…?
This story was from the Human Resources Director of my previous employment. He once shared with me about this driving trip from Perak (i. e. a state of Malaysia) to Hatyai (i. e. a city in Thailand’s far south near Malaysia border).
He used the North South Highway to go to Hatyai. Along the highway, there are toll counters where customer service staff collects toll fee from each vehicle passes through.
He pays for the toll fee and then asks the customer service lady “Is this way to Singapore?”
“Huh?!?” The lady was shock as Singapore is down south of Malaysia and he is now at North of Malaysia heading towards Thailand.
He then laughs and says to her “That’s a joke. Haha…” That lady smiles in return.
He told me that those workers at toll counter are pretty boring job and no one to talk to most of the time; so he would make some jokes and talk to them once a while.
(Aww… how thoughtful you are.)
Agree, if we could bring a smile to someone, especially those who doesn’t have much chances to initiate conversation at their work, it is a kind act that won’t cost you anything. Your kind act would make their day!
26. Many Hidden Talents Here…
Here in Singapore, I find that the communities here are way healthier than those in my home country. Many people rely on public transports, i. e. public bus, MRT (i. e. Mass Rapid Transit), and some even walk to their destination by foot!
Wow… To me, if it is more than 15 minutes walking distance, I consider as FAR. If no other option, I might… have to… walk…
The thing is I sweat easily; so I try to avoid too much walking especially under the hot sun. But if I am into brisk walk mode, then that is a different story.
In my hometown, almost everyone has their own transportation; car and / or motorcycle but I guess minority of the community would still take public transport. Mainly due to they can’t drive. Those who can drive, no one will take a bus.
Why? It has never punctual and sometimes drivers do shortcut at their own will. They would change their bus route and stop halfway due to fewer passengers. So, passengers will be asked to alight halfway. Crazy, isn’t it?
So, since many people rely on public transport in Singapore, the government is very thoughtful to have built more bus stops and MRT stations in each residential area, within walking distance.
One astonishing phenomenon I often see is, many people here have good stamina. They can sprint, running as if they are in 100meter race, just to catch the bus! Haha…
That is really something. The passerby who just walks next to you in those high heels could just immediately turns into ‘Sonic – The Hedgehog’ and speed running to reach the bus stop before the bus arrives.
(Wow… I can never run that fast. Back in schooling time, I was always the last in the class when comes to running or any sports. Sports Idiot, that’s me.)
This reminds me that one day when I wore my sporty jacket attending the company teamwork event. On the back of my red jacket was embroidered with a huge, bold wording in white thread ‘GYMNASTICS’.
So, when my colleague saw me, she asked me if I am into any gymnastics. I said “Yes. Walking.” “What? Walking is part of gymnastics?”
“Haha…” That was a joke, obviously.
There was another time, when I saw an old auntie running towards the bus stop while busy flagging her hand trying to stop the bus driver from leaving the bus stop and wait for her to alight the bus.
I was kind of worried about her though – Can the heart of an elderly people really take it to have their body picking up such sudden rush in actions?
I don’t know but I have the urge to tell them, you can actually wait for the next bus; no need to run…
I have a weird behavior; I don’t like to take a look at the bus arrival apps beforehand. Why? Well, I don’t want to be rushed, not by the bus, not by the time. Just take it easy. I would tap on that ‘Next Bus’ apps only when I have been waited for a while at the bus stop and still no sight of the bus arrival.
The Chapters Hereafter Would Be All About The Funny Author Instead 🙂
27. Are We Being Cheated?
Now, that Hatyai city of Thailand does remind me of the trip that I went with my family years back.
It took us 4 hours on the travel coach to reach there, and we usually spend a ‘3-day, 2-night’ trip there.
A shopping spree to their morning market place where price bargaining to get a good deal is the must do thing. But for consumers, do take note that if you only wish to take a look and no intension to buy the item, it is better that you don’t ask any question to the seller. Yes, especially when you are the first customer that visit their shop in the morning. The local Thai business owners or retailers are very particular in closing their first sales transaction for the day. If they fail to do so, it would deem to have bad business for that whole day. So, for a win-win situation, let us not ask or touch their products if we were only ‘window-shopping’. If you are interested in the product, then you would definitely get the best deal from the seller as they really want to make sure their first sales transaction to happen.
My dad accompanies me and I get myself a pair of sports shoes (sneakers) that morning. I was so happy with the good deal for such a pair of nice shoes. When we get back to our coach, I try on the shoes one more time as I like them so much.
(Hmm…? How come the right side a bit tight? The left side seems okay.) I look at them and can’t stop thinking “Why?”
(Don’t tell me that the seller changed the right side of the shoe to a smaller size…) When I panic, I over-think on things; which I shouldn’t be.
“Pa, the right side of the shoe seems tight. Could it be they change the shoes and cheat on us?” I tell my dad about my shoes with disappointment flooding me.
“What? Serious? But now the bus is about to depart, we can’t go back to that shoe shop to change.” My dad says.
“Emm…” I was sad at that moment.
I took off the shoes and something came off from the right side of the shoes.
(Hmm? What was that? I pick up the shoe and look at it and I went speechless…)
Reason being, I wore the right side of the shoe without removing the curvy sponge that is to support or maintain the shape of the shoe!
(Haha… Oh My Goodness… What was I doing?) I laugh.
I turn to my dad and say, “Pa, actually it was me forgot to take out the sponge and wear it on. No wonder it became tight. Haha…”
“Huh? Why are you so ‘mong cha cha’?” Dad laughs and says how come I am so ‘blur-minded’ in Cantonese language.
Haha… silly me. Luckily, the shoes size is correct and comfortable. Thank goodness. My bad for blaming the shoe seller earlier.
28. It’s Not Moving
Coming out from MRT (i. e. Mass Rapit Transit) station, I took the lift to go downstairs. I went in first, and then followed by another Chinese auntie and a Malay auntie. I press the ‘close’ button to have the lift closing the door.
We all pay attention to our own stuff while waiting for the lift to reach ground floor. The Chinese auntie looks at the street view from the glass window, while the Malay auntie and I were focusing on our own mobile phone.
Waited for a while, the Chinese auntie says “Hmm…? It’s not moving?”
The Malay auntie and I look at her when we heard that. Then only we all realize that no one pressing on the floor number button. Haha… no wonder the lift is not moving but only closing its door.
I laugh and say “Haha… we are too busy on our own thing (staring at our phone) until forget to press the floor button. My bad. Haha…”
We all laugh and then go our own ways when the lift reached ground floor.
Those people that waiting at ground floor for the lift must have been wondering why the lift took so long to come down. (Oops…)
29. Does She Have A Sister?
You might find this one a bit mean but I have no bad intentions and surely no offence on any person who owns it. Sometimes, we come across some interesting names or English name they get for themselves but this one was so classic that it imprinted in my memory until this day and I can’t help but to share with you.
There’s a new Asian colleague joining our overseas branch company this month, I heard this news from my team members.
“What’s her name? Do you know?” I ask.
“Her name is Remote.” My colleague says.
(Huh?!? Did I hear it right?) “What again?” I need her to repeat what she just said.
“Remote.” Loud and clear this time.
I can’t stop laughing, I just can’t. (Wow, what a creative English name she got for herself.)
“Then, does she have a sister? Called ‘Control’?” “Remote” “Control” “Haha…” I joke around.
I am too naughty, I am sorry. That’s the funniest English name I’ve ever heard.
30. Have You Ever Mixed It?
Attending to my annual body check-up at panel clinic; the young male doctor is preparing the needle to extract my blood for lab test purposes.
When he has done extracting my blood and about to put them into the tube, I ask him “Doctor, have you ever tried to mix family member’s blood and see if they (their blood) really can mix (combine) together? Just like what we usually saw in those ancient Chinese drama or movies?”
Well, most of us grown up watching some Hong Kong or China-produced ancient drama or movies where one tries to proof two people are blood-related family; they would poke both parties’ finger, squeeze a drop of blood into a water bowl, and see if their blood drops mix as one in the water.
Doctor was stunt by my question. Guess no one has ever asked him such funny question. He then smiles and says “I have not tried that before. But I think they (their blood drop) can’t mix together, from science point of view.”
“I see…” Thanks to doctor for willing to think further on the possibility of such experiment happening.
We both laugh and reminisce those ancient drama scenes – “Oh my gosh, the blood drops mix together.” “You’re my son!”
Once I asked the same question to a nurse, but the nurse replied me in a serious tone “We are not allowed to do that on patient’s blood extraction.”
“Oh, okay.” (That serious tone from her, no fun at all, can’t joke further…)
Anyway, I am just curious to know about this.
Cheers
Cheers 🙂