Chapter 14.9 - Surprises After Belly Dance Class
One day, when I share in text message to Gee about my happiness in attending a belly-dancing class and learning some funny yet sexy moves, Gee sends me messages.
I am so delighted to see his new messages, after two long weeks! But my happiness vanishes once again when seeing his message that goes: “Hey babe, I need your assistance. Can you help me transfer SGD xxxxx to that agent there in Singapore?”
(Oh my God… When I am here giving him a second chance, he still repeating his spam act. But this round the amount reduced by five thousand. If a shipment is still stuck at the custom, the cost will keep increasing, how come it is now reduced? Funny enough but I have no interest to know more about it.)
“You had my answer on this, two weeks ago. No, I can’t.” I reply to Gee.
“You mean you can’t help me out? You are all I have got there in Singapore.” “I know you have a good heart to help me solve this.” “It is urgent please.” Gee continues.
He gives me a voice call; but the call was cut off right after two ringing tones.
(In the past, Gee would wait until I pick up the call. So, I guess he might be accidentally pressed on the ‘call’ button.)
“I don’t know what’s your involvement or relationship with this agent of yours, but those documents and information are not genuine. Sorry, I’d have to pass. You please handle it at your end.” Still, I patiently reply to Gee.
“Why are you trying to let me lose everything? I know you can assist me right now and why are you not?” “This I see as being wicked and don’t really want my interest at all.” Gee sends me his disappointment in me through his text messages.
(He is trying to avoid my message that those are not genuine; but keeps luring me to help him if I still want to have his love. So, your love comes with a condition, huh? After disappearing yourself for two weeks, still you dare to claim that you love me? Oh, come on… Now, I’m really annoyed.)
I didn’t reply to his messages.
Chapter 14.10 - So This Is How It Feels
I really do consider taking Gee as a friend if he would really be honest and stop with that shipping spam on me.
(To many people, my way of thinking is really stupid.)
Again, I woke up in the middle of the night for some water to kill my thirst. I can’t go back to sleep right away. I prepare replying message to Gee, he should be able to read it when he finished his work. I want to express that I would still take him as a friend even though I know his spam work.
(I’m so immature…)
(Even though I had come across a quote that says,
I still believe some of the words from Gee was really came from and meant for the real him; not all were lies. Is my heart blinding my mind on this impression that I felt from Gee?)
“Gee, you really have the talent to make me laugh, as well as speechless at the same time. You can be so cute at times. I can’t help but to present to you: The Winner for the Academy Award for Best Actor in a Leading Role Year 2021.”
I attach a photo of ‘Oscar trophy’.
And I continue my text him “I know the you now wanted to strangle me…” “Okay okay, jokes aside.” I say.
“Gee, the you that I know is a very capable and experienced operation director, who has been leading so many huge projects for your company; and guiding your team of fifteen workers in accomplishing each and every project. You’re the VIP assets of the company!”
“Anyone of your workers would have been more experienced and well-versed in Construction arrangement than this outsider – me.”
“I’m sure you have ways to get things done. Utilizing all your networks and people connections is all built in your gene!”
“I can’t wait to see you shine.” “I’ll keep sticking around; you’re bigger than me~” I attach in my message a link to a song from Backstreet Boys ‘Bigger’, with its lyrics.
“You have worked hard today as well; do catch your good dinner soon.” I close my text messages to Gee with my daily greetings.
I get back to sleep.
The next morning when I was on my way to office, I check on our chat box. Gee did read my messages but no reply as usual. I send him a casual one-sided message again before I start focusing on my work for the day.
Later in the evening, when I look at my messages, he read all of them as well. But this time, his WhatsApp ID photo has gone back to grey icon.
My heart, is sinking into the sea…
Finally, he blocks me.
(Dap. Badap. Dap. Dap.) Tear drops hit right on the screen of my mobile phone. One drop after another…
(So, this is how it feels, huh? To have someone blocked you from messenger.) This is the first time I get blocked by someone. It feels terrible.
(This means the end for us, for our relationship. Was my joke to him last night go overboard? Was it too offensive to him?)
I feel terrible and sad…
This quote describes my current situation well.
(My heart feels some level of regret and says: Mint, you should have stop right there and then when you left Gee with those long voice messages; when he sent you his wishes in his last message. With that, you’d still stay ‘connected’ with him in WhatsApp and not being cut-off…)
(My rational mind says otherwise: It is better this way. Now, with a clean cut-off on this fake relationship with Gee. He is not genuine to begin with, but comes with an objective. Mint, let it go and move on!)
I enter into silence mode for the coming days…
(Oh God, it feels so tough to go on my days…) I thought I was tough but I wasn’t. Tears gather in my eyes, on my way back home. I quietly wipe it off in the MRT. I walk with heads down, marching home, in sadness. I bear it all, alone, all by myself.
(I am not tough; I can be fragile, at times. I still need someone to be by my side. Why is it so hard to wish for a partner?)
Chapter 14.11 - I Have To Do This
Few days later, comes my weekend.
(I think of all sorts of ways that I could reach out to him. I can’t help it! I must have been gone crazy, I guess my heart is in-charge now.)
“Stop it, Mint! You made yourself look like a leech!” My rational mind shouts at me.
(To other’s eyes, I really am a leech! A leech that keeps clinging onto Gee; wishing to maintain even just a string-slim connection with him.)
(In reality, mere talk is easy; to really do it, how many people could really walk the talk?)
I wrote a long email and sent it to his email address that Gee once used to send me the award certificate, since I can no longer able to reach him via WhatsApp.
“Giuliano, I’m not sure if you need this at this stage of your life, do allow me to say this once. Hear me out, word by word.”
“If you need a genuine sincere friend, someone you could talk freely with, I’m just a call away.” “After rounds of considerations, I still take you as a friend. If we could go with the fundamental rule of friends – Be Honest. That’d be great!”
(I truly understand that my doing is meaningless and naïve but I see the need to send him this email to apologize and explain to him the meaning of my previous messages that he might find them too offensive when my real intention is not that.)
“Each adult has their own choice and decisions on their actions and career directions; they then take the risks and/or consequences of the path and direction they have chosen.” “I didn’t have the chance to participate in your past so I don’t know what you’ve experienced so far. You have your reason to it and therefore I’m not going to question you, at all cost.” “I have no interest in meddling with your work involvement with that agent of yours; which is also why I did not want to bring up this topic in our conversation…”
“I guess that Oscar trophy messages and that song might have seriously offended you when what I intended to convey was ‘Despite all those fictitious shipment info, I still take you as a friend.” “I’m sorry if those ever gave you the wrong message and misled you the other way round…
“But if you’re only interested in friends with benefits or friends for a reason rather than building a genuine friendship or relationship, then I’ll have to pass.” “Having a good heart doesn’t mean naïve. Please don’t take my sincerity for granted.” “And if you don’t like me as a friend material to begin with… then nothing much I could do.”
“Have a nice day at work, stress-free. May your days complete with laughter and be safe 24/7, and always.”
“I still thank you to have met you.” “I don’t want to regret, that’s why I decided to send you this email.”
I shared a quote I once read:
“The cost of not following your heart is spending the rest of our life wishing you had.” – By J. Paulsen
“You’d be missed. Take good care of yourself, Gee.”
Email sent.
This quote was shared by the group member of ‘Positive Quotes’.
(I just love it.)
By the time where I could bring myself to slowly getting back to my ‘single’ life style, I came to realize that I do have some issues in handling my own emotions and fears. I came across a book that has a list of questionnaires to determine which group reader falls under. From my answer to those questionnaires, lead me to a category called ‘Un-stable High Self-Esteem’.
I continue to read that book. For the first time, I have to really take a step back to reflect deeply into my inner self; and dig from the back of my memory to understand where did my fear and lack of self-confident arise? What was the root cause to my egoistic way of thinking and set the perspective in how I view a subject matter? Who causes it? I was speechless to know that the lack of confident in me was the reason why I went through that emotional-roller coaster! What a hammer-smack onto my head… I have to start learning on how to self-love as a beginner; even though at this age. It’s never too late to do this. I want to improve and become a better me. I want to continue expanding my visions and wisdom.
Time flies.
Today is the 2nd month since I got to know Gee which is also one month after Gee withdrew himself.
(Oh my goodness, how I wish my romantic gene would just forget about this. Jeez…)
I send him another email.
“You, Fool!” My rational mind shouts at me, again.
(Oops… I know, this is the FINAL, I said to myself.)
“I just drop by to say Hi.”
I wrote some daily casual topics that I feel like sharing.
“I’d keep those good memories of us. Sometime during the day, out of nowhere, I would still smile when recalling any one of our chat topics. Haha…”
(My rational mind finds this me very stupid for doing such no-value-added stuff; but having day dream once in a while, it’s fine as long as I don’t take any reckless decision or risky action. Naïve…)
“A gentle reminder to you:
Don’t become the grandpa that forgets his wife’s name, yeah…
Don’t become ‘schizoid personality disorder’.
I mean… Since you need to remember so many names and withdraw your emotions so quickly as if switching off the button.
Don’t turn yourself into a robot, yeah, Gee.”
“I would continue to explore and learn more songs to sing; continue my morning walk in the garden; belly-dancing; in order to maintaining my good health. And grab more books to read.”
“Take care, Gee, stay happy & safe. Eat a bit more and gain some weight, say, 10% more?”
“Miss those leisure chatting days of ours.”
Best regards,
Mint
Email sent. The FINAL message to Gee is now sent. THANK YOU, GIULIANO!
The End – to our past
The following debating conversation echoing, almost every day, in me.
MIND: “I DON’T LOVE YOU.”
One month passed…
My colleague treats me to a new eating place for lunch, one of the famous hawker centers but we need to drive a little, to reach there.
They recommend to me this series of must-try food.
There’s a variety of curry chicken dishes and set meals. Japanese Curry Chicken, Thai Green Curry Chicken, Hainanese Curry Chicken Rice, Northern India Curry Chicken Nan set, Red Curry Chicken Nasi Padang and so on.
(…… Speechless! All about curry chicken huh? Is this a Curry Chicken Hub or what? Hahaha…)
I like spicy food so I go for Northern India Curry Chicken Nan set. I carry my meals with a tray and go waiting for my colleague at our table.
Looking at that pot of steamy curry chicken that my colleague places in front of me, my mind basically flies in its own direction.
“Do you like Curry Chicken?” “Don’t ask me this question in the public, please.” “Hahaha…”
I recall the ‘Curry Chicken’ topic that I had with Gee, back then…
(Hmm…) I think I might wear a smile on my face now.
“Gee…” I whisper…
– – – – The End – – – –
Chapter 15 - Recap On Question(s) Raised
Saturday evening, sitting in front of my laptop, open up the blank Word file. I start to type. I want to put in bullet form all the important take aways and information I obtained from this encounter. I compile a list of all those questions triggered since Day-1 I encountered with Gee. Those questions make me think, again and again.
At this point of time, I don’t know what I would do with this piece of summarized information; but I think it would at least alert myself; and perhaps I can share it with my close friends (female friends). Not my love spam experience but those useful tips.
(I don’t feel like telling anyone about what happened between Gee and me… I prefer to keep it ‘inside’…)
I added some useful notes to better elaborate the bullet points. I really hope that some of the notes would somehow be able to help the women out there to be more cautious and alert on spam acts. There are some men being spammed by woman they get to know through dating apps as well.
i) The WeChat account ID that he gave me in our first encounter but later on he claimed that he didn’t have a WeChat account. He will need to create one if WhatsApp’s line is unstable… He lied that he has WeChat account, in the first place.
ii) That selfie photo that he took upon my request, why is it looks like someone is taking for him? Does he using a tripod or asking someone to take for him? Is the person I talked to really the Giuliano in the photo or someone else? I still don’t have the answer to it, as of today.
iii) His reluctant in having a video-call (this rings an alarm!) Why wouldn’t he?
iv) Browsing back to our messages, he did ask for:
o WhatsApp (where mobile contact is disclosed),
o Birthday (date of birth),
o Home address.
o Next, might be bank account number he is after… Using his excuse of transfer money to me as reimbursement for that shipment cost.
v) Reminder from banker: if one has your birth date and bank account number, hacker is able to empty all your money in your bank account. Do refrain from disclosing any of such information to anyone.
vi) Shipment lead time – Isn’t it too fast for a shipment from the states to arrive at Singapore?
vii) How could shipment cost decrease when shipment is not yet clear at custom?
viii) That phishing invoice from agent
ix) The award certificate with difference signature name. Negligent in editing work…
x) The main point is “Why would I have to handle and settle your business transaction?” To top it off, those are not even a genuine document.
xi) Most men who are emotionally invested into you or a relationship, he will be so excited and willing to have you get to know or meet with his family and friends. If he didn’t, the notice the red flag there.
xii) If your messages to him have become more and more one-sidedly, i. e. he skips most of your messages without explaining why or telling you that he would reply later. Then take note on this alert as well. It is either you’ve been investing too much effort into the chat, or he is not into you and the conversations with you. You would better pull the break and slow down your pace. Observe the momentum of the conversation flow before pouring more onto this person.
To all kind-hearted, soft-hearted women out there, please be rational and practice your common sense as much as possible, especially when it comes to monetary matters. If you don’t know much about the topic, just humbly ask around the experts or your colleagues for more information. You would learn new information along the way.
Protect yourself.
This is the least you should do, for yourself.
Chapter 16 - Special Thanks To...
I would like to Thank:
i) GOD – for letting me see the truth in this relationship and discover that spam act. Thank you for giving me the strength to find my way back onto my life trajectory and letting go what is not meant for me.
ii) My parents – for not questioning too much on this love spam that I had encountered but keep encouraging me to continue having faith & keep my belief; that I would surely meet the man who would love me for me.
iii) Lene and Sue – for being there for me; thank you for being my sincere friends.
iv) Facebook – for creating that dating app platform for us to have the chance of knowing new friends. It is the wrong in those who misuse it for spam act.
v) ‘Positive Thinking’ group & ‘Positive Quotes’ group in Facebook that I joined not long after I entered into depressing mode from what happened. Thanks for all those motivating quotes, love quotes shared by the group members; that really helps me keep moving on.
vi) Reputable love and relationship gurus: Matthew Hussey, Adam Lodolce, Mat Boggs, Mark Rosenfeld, Stephan Speaks and Derrick Jaxn, for their valuable advices and useful guidance on Man vs. Woman’s view, how they think, how they react, what to lookout for in a relationship, what you should do and what kind of positive thinking one should have in viewing a relationship. I learnt a bunch from their videos. Highly appreciated!
vii) YouTube – for letting me listening to many good songs.
viii) Singapore Library Board – for those good books that helps me grow.
ix) Giuliano, for clicking ‘LIKE’ to that photo of mine to begin with and crossing your path into my life for that short period of time; for those happy moments (in that first one month) we have shared.
Last but not least, to my own self, Mint! (You have done well in handling those negative emotions and brave enough to stand still and take the right path to keep you going. Never lose yourself but continue to be the genuine person to others and keep being the energetic and cheerful Tigress in Me!)
