Chapter 5 - So Many?!?
“Now, save!” I have put down my brief answer to each questionnaire and complete the basis settings for my dating account. I can now browse through the candidates in this dating app. I didn’t really indicate too many preferences on what I look for in a man. Simply because I do not know with whom I might finally ended up being with. So, I keep the options open.
Variety of candidates pop up! Man from different races, countries, age group, marital status, with or without kid(s).
(Wow! So many good-looking men!) I am not sure if it is due to this is a Singapore-use dating app, that there are a lot of Chinese young men with Hong Kong or China origin, in this app.
Their face features are so sharp, literally, at par with those celebrities, and young too. Well, I don’t choose those candidates that are way too younger than me. I don’t actually have any issue with a younger partner. My ex was few years younger than me. The most important matter is the maturity in his mindset and the genuine relationship built between two persons.
I didn’t get myself to click any ‘Star’ or ‘Heart’ to any candidates on this first browsing. Just trying to get a grip of the features and how this app is functioning.
I log out and get ready for my bed time. There is work tomorrow.
Another day passed, lay down on my bed after a relaxing shower. Login into the dating app. I intend to take a peek before going to sleep.
“So many?!?” I yell out to the air. Why is there so many men sending me ‘LIKE’? (With that photo of mine, are you serious?)
“Lene, must I do something to each of the candidate who sent me a LIKE?” I ask my master via WhatsApp messenger.
“Yes, either you reject them or at least respond with a Star or Heart. Then only you can move on to see the next candidates” Lene patiently replies to my message.
“Okay…” I continue browsing through each candidate. To be honest, as a woman, I too, have the intuition whether ‘go’ or ‘no go’ with a guy, just by the first glance at their photo. I know it feels bad for the other person, but I really don’t have any bias view, he is just beyond my radar of consideration.
I read through what the candidate has replied on those default questionnaires. (Oh, so you’re here to look for chatting friends) I click ‘Reject’. I know what I want and do not want to waste time on those that are not seriously looking for long-term partner type.
Some candidates are just way too funny, to my opinion. They didn’t even put their photos! (What are you trying to proof? If you’re seriously looking for a partner, at least confidently put a photo of your own face on, right?)
Some wrote quotes on their profile. For some, I don’t even understand what they were trying to express. Some candidates clearly stating that they are expats staying in Singapore and looking for a partner (a temporary partner, I presume).
This app restricts one to send only three ‘Star’ or ‘Like’ per day. So, I have clicked three ‘Stars’ after browsing through a bunch of candidates.
Log off; bed time.
Chapter 6 - Character Tells Through Their Words...
I continue browsing the very next day after my dinner. Oops, before that, let me make a phone call to my parent; a routine check just to make sure that everyone and everything is fine.
I received messages from those that I’ve sent ‘Star’ to, yesterday. Alright, let me reply to them and start messaging each other. No harm knowing new friends.
Man #1 claimed that he is a widowed-man. From his photos, he looks elder than me but he is not willing to disclose his age. (Funny…) From our message correspondence, I find that this candidate is rather a pessimistic person. This conclusion was reached after a couple of messaging, over the three days. He suggested that we continue our messaging via WeChat app; which we did. He mentioned that he is looking for someone who would love him for him (okay, make sense), one who is caring and loving (okay), obedient (what?!?), loyalty and no betrayal.
(‘Obedient’?!? This word had me by surprise. Are you looking for a maid? Or maybe you could consider getting one directly from Vietnam or so. No offence. I’ve seen those ladies; they’re very sweet and pretty obedient to their ‘master’ to some level. But I am not that type, so I’d pass.)
Not long after that, I put a stop to our conversations and I block him from WeChat. Way too closed-off thinking. I claim myself to be optimistic and ‘Happy-Go-Lucky’ kind of person. The more I am with a pessimistic person; I guess my happy vibes might die off, real soon. I don’t want that. I wish him all the best and hope that he finds the one he wants.
Next, Man #2 that I replied to his messages, claimed that he is a local, Singaporean. An average-looking man, divorced, and currently living with his daughter. But I don’t have the urge to continue further with him. The message correspondences ‘vibe’ doesn’t feel right.
I read about an article, few years ago, that goes “If you do not have the intention to proceed with this relationship, don’t fool or flirt with the other party as you are just wasting each other’s time.”
I decided to stop initiating any new topic in our messages. I left it open and hanging there. But when I came back a month or so, and had a look at the message box with this Man #2. This man’s photos had totally changed to another person! What in the world is happening here? It’s not him anymore. Is he or his ID fake? I blocked him instantly, right there and then. Phishing…
While replying messages to those I had sent a ‘Star’, the day before, I browse through a new batch of wonderful men that are daring and willing to click ‘LIKE’ on that photo of mine (rolling my eyes).
I sent ‘Star’ to a Hong Kong-origin man (i.e. Man #3) who claimed to be a professional, a China-origin young guy (Man #4) aged 35, who is helping in his cousin’s business operation in Singapore, and Man #5 a man from New York (NY). They all indicated that they are now based in Singapore.
Hmmm… this guy (the one from NY)… most of his photos, he smiles naturally. Not super handsome looking or one that tries to act handsome by putting model-posed when taking his photos (you know what I mean…). Seems like a back-to-basic fashion-theme man. I like his smiles. Frankly, I do.
Okay, three ‘Stars’ sent. That is all for today.
Log out, and dream land, here I come.
Chapter 7 - First Encounter
6th March 20xx, I click on that ‘STAR’ icon, reply to the NY guy who has a status of ‘Giuliano Liked You’ shown below his ID. With that being said, this dating app has now matched us and we can start messaging each other.
Not long after, Giuliano dropped me a message saying Hi.
“Hi, Giuliano. How are you?” Courtesy reply, I type and reply to him, just as everyone would say to a newly met person.
“Good evening to you; hope you had a nice day so far? It’s a pleasure to meet you here. You wouldn’t mind if we are friend and get to know each other better?” Giuliano continues. (See? A polite message never fails to have the reader to continue reading their messages.)
“Nice meeting you too, Giuliano.” “Start as friend is good. I don’t expect bullet train, haha…” “A relaxing Saturday for me. How’s yours?” I type in my message.
Giuliano thanked me for accepting him as a friend. He updated me that he was just about to start his work on Saturday morning. He lives and works at Manhattan, New York; a professional freelancer civil engineer and also an independent contractor [1].
[1] Question: The preference I set for candidate was men that are based in Singapore. Why would he indicate in his profile that he is based in Singapore when in reality he is currently living and working in New York? Was he being relocated on a job assignment at New York, for a short term? I wonder.
“And how about you?” he asks in writing.
“Oh, you have to work on Saturday? Hope I’m not disturbing your work” “I worked as accountant in Singapore. One who often says ‘Where is my calculator?’ Haha…” I jokingly reply to him. “My Saturday is not a workday for me.” I continue.
“Oh really? What a nice job you have there.” “No, you didn’t disturb me as we (referring to him and his team) are now working at site and I was totally free then.” Giuliano claims. “I would like to know you more…” “Can we talk more on WhatsApp?” He continues.
I had experienced working with engineering and construction companies before, so pretty much know what kind of job responsibilities he holds with that job post.
“Safety first. Many accidents at site happened in Singapore where workers lost their lives” I emphasize. (Well, I would still say this even though I might sound nagging, but just want to ensure he is safe to reply messages, especially when he is at project site.)
“If you don’t mind, can we use WeChat as a start?” I counter-propose and ask him.
Lesson taught from Lene – To use WeChat App if they ever ask for WhatsApp. Reason being, with WeChat App, one does not have to disclose their mobile contact number and you can block or un-friend them any moment (without any hassle). If connected via WhatsApp, well, you would need to share your mobile contact number with the other parties; which might link to many things (such as SMS, Face time, direct phone calls, and so on).
“Okay, sure. Drop me your WeChat ID and I will add you up.” He accepts on my suggestion.
I somehow feel relief; and glad to share my WeChat ID with him. Later, on his Saturday, he replied that he couldn’t find me (i.e. my ID from WeChat App). When I saw his messages, I asked for his WeChat ID instead. He gave me a series of number which I tried to search but fail as well. I searched by ID Name, also not avail.
(Strange enough… Why can’t I find him? Oh boy… this means we have to use WhatsApp then…)
“I can’t find you as well. Here’s my phone number to WhatsApp. But let me be frank, if I sense something phishing, I’d block you right away.” I made a declaration beforehand.
“Sure, I will add you up now. What phishing are you talking about?” Giuliano asks right away.
“What is your name?” He follows with another question.
“An advice from friend who has been using this dating app for a while, try not to share phone contact or using WhatsApp; better to start with WeChat.” “No offence.” I say to him.
“Mint.” My name, I type in the message.
“Oh, really? And who is this friend of yours that want my beautiful Mint to block me? Hahaha… don’t worry, I just want to get to know you more and see how we move from there.” What a cute reply he has here.
“Thanks, Giuliano.” I reply. (It’s good to start as a friend, no stress, and see how things go. Sounds good for me.)
In the next minute, my mobile phone received an incoming message from WhatsApp.
“Hi, Mint.” “This is Giuliano”.
A photo of Giuliano in blue shirt, with a sunshine smiling face was sent along, to me. This photo of him was none of those that he has put on that dating app.
(I like sunshine-looking man and for one who likes to smile would be a plus! Literally, I can’t take my eyes from that photo. I smile while looking at it.)
“Hi, Giuliano. That’s fast!” “What time is it at your place now?” I reply with a smile still wearing on my face.
“Yeah, as I really want to have you here so we can always talk starting tomorrow as it’s late now.” Instant reply from Giuliano.
(Indeed, it is midnight at my time zone now. There is 12-hour difference in time zone between NY and Singapore. So, my evening would be his morning; his evening would be my morning. Easy for me to remember as no need to do mind calculation to plus or minus. Although I am an accountant myself, I can’t count well without a calculator.)
Rolling my eyes (towards myself).
“You have it now. Sure, chat when you’re free and safe (at project site). I’m entering sleeping mode now. 4, 3, 2…” I reassure him and start the countdown (in word).
“Hahaha… Good night and sweet dreams.” He sends me his ‘Good Night’.
We call it a day on our first encounter…
About the other 2 men that I’ve replied a ‘Star’, they stop the conversation right after I told them my country of origin. Well, fair enough, everyone has their preference. No right or wrong. Let it ends here.
A new friend made. I enter my dreamland with a happy mode. At this very moment, never would I know that this Giuliano would have me fallen so deep…